Love Has Torn Us Apart
by Sunken Stars
Summary: Ruby has a breakdown when she finally finds herself to be alone with Weiss. / One-sided White Rose, post break up.


_Do you cry out in your sleep?  
_ _All my failings exposed.  
_ _And there's a taste in my mouth,  
_ _As desperation takes hold.  
_ _Just that something so good,  
_ _Just can't function no more._

 _Love, love will tear us apart again,  
_ _Love, love will tear us apart again…_

 _Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart_

* * *

Ruby laughed dryly as if there was a clear joke; as if Weiss had said something funny. But all she had said was "hey." Weiss knew from months of being in a relationship that it was a reflex; she did it when she was uncomfortable. Weiss just smiled, but the smile held absolutely no feeling. It was just a false expression put on to ease the awkwardness.

It was a surprise she was even putting _that_ much effort into it because right now she honestly felt like crawling back to the dorm and acting like nothing had ever happened. Just like the both of them had been doing the whole month.

She wanted to go back to pretending like the first few nights after their breakup there weren't tears on their pillows that were easy for the other to see in the morning like there weren't audible sobs that were heard in the small hours of the morning.

Weiss just turned back to the coffee maker, desperately staring at it to hurry up. This situation wasn't comfortable, she didn't want to be here. They already had to live together, they already saw one another every single day. There was no escaping constant confrontation and they both had to live with that. But being alone with one another? That could be avoided easily. Scenarios they had replayed over and over again in their heads could be dodged without any trouble at all.

So then why wasn't she just leaving? Ruby was just… standing there, staring at her. What did she expect? Did she expect a conversation? An apology? She wouldn't get anything, she would just keep staring for no reason if that was the case.

Weiss wanted to tell her that, that this was pointless, entirely unneeded. Once she got her coffee, she was done. Out of here. Back to the dorm, away from this.

But the staring was starting to get to her, and the coffee was taking a long time. Usually only took about three minutes, but now it seemed like forever.

She regretfully opened up her mouth.

"Ruby, why are you staring at me like that?"

The words seemed to snap Ruby out of a daze, and her eyes snapped open wide like she hadn't even been aware that she was doing so. Either that or she didn't think Weiss would say anything. Ruby didn't say anything in response though and just kept staring. Though now she kept opening and closing her mouth as if she didn't know what to say. Was she speechless?

It mirrored the look she had on her face when Weiss confessed to her, and it made Weiss really uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than before. Thousands of memories came flooding into her mind of the times they spent together. Hundreds of shared milkshakes, hundreds of shared kisses and hugs and cuddles. Her cheeks went pink and her stomach twisted into all kinds of shapes. But it wasn't the same feeling of love that she had once felt.

It was the feeling of guilt, of hating the outcome of something, of hating what it did to you and your once significant other.

Ruby took a breath and closed her mouth firmly, clenching her teeth and her fists. Weiss backed away from her, noticing the sudden shift in emotion. "Ruby I-"

"Shut up!" The command shocked Weiss to the core, and Ruby didn't even seem to realize how out of character it was for her. Weiss felt her chest tighten, and her heart rate quicken as she panicked. Sudden loud noises were no good. "Just shut up for one second! You've been avoiding me for so freaking long! You can't just do that! Just because we broke up, that doesn't give you the right to just decide on your own that our friendship isn't worth fixing!" Ruby's voice rose to a fever pitch, and Weiss stumbled back even further, her waist hitting the edge of the counter that the coffee maker sat upon.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to what, Weiss!? Make things even worse between us than they already were!? Make me upset!? Well, guess what! Remnant to Weiss Schnee, you did both of those things!" Ruby's words made Weiss flinch. Her hands went to the edge of the counter behind her and gripped them so hard the blood was forced from her fingers. Her face was going pale white, a stark contrast to Ruby's red one.

"I don't think you even realize the torture you've put me through... " Ruby continued in a softer tone. "Every time I see you I think about you, I mean how could I not? I've thought about you nonstop for months. You were always at the forefront of my mind." Ruby closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but then in a flash, the calm that had taken the place of anger was gone. "And you know what I've been thinking about? How… freaking _ANGRY_ I am that you apparently have no interest in being my friend anymore!"

Weiss just bit her lip and tried to think of a response. But only static occupied her mind. It hadn't been easy for her either, it hadn't been easy at all. It had been so hard… she only felt like maybe some time away from one another would help. But she didn't know how to say that now, she didn't know how to respond. The sheer anger in Ruby's voice was making her heart beat so fast. "I only-"

"No! Shut up, stop talking, I don't even want to hear it! Whatever excuse you have for it isn't any good! I can think of several reasons! Maybe you hate me now! Maybe that's it! Maybe I've been so concerned trying to get you back in my life that I didn't realize you hated me!" Weiss flinched in shock again, clenching her teeth so tightly she felt like they would break.

"No! That's not true, I-" She stopped upon noticing the tears in Ruby's eyes. They were openly flowing down her cheek, falling to the floor below. The mere sight of them was enough to make her freeze.

"Well…" Ruby started, trying to hold the tears back. "Why not!? Why don't you hate me!? Because that would make this so much easier…" Weiss put her hand to her chest, curled up into a fist. She started to shake.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me, dammit! I said this would all be so much easier if you hated me! If you just despised my guts! Because then I'd have a reason to hate you, too! Then I'd have a reason for barely being able to put up with you anymore, and all the stupid things you do! All your stupid fears make me so mad! Who the hell is so afraid of loud noises!? Human contact!? It made it so hard to do anything with you! We couldn't go to concerts, we couldn't even hug for the first month of being together because we had to work around your fear! It's always made me so mad, but I loved you enough to put up with it!"

Weiss sobbed, but no tears came. "Ruby-"

"You know what? Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh. I didn't always hate it. But I do now. I hate everything about you when I start thinking too much. Sometimes I even hate you… but then sometimes I still love you. And I have to put up with the fact that you left me. You don't love me anymore. You didn't want me. So you broke it off, and then you decided that it would be better if you never talked to me again."

Weiss didn't even dare to open her mouth again, anything she could say would have no effect, she knew. She decided to just let Ruby go on, even if every word hurt more than the last.

"But," Ruby continued, "I'm so _fucking_ sick of putting up with it. I want to hate you all the time because then it'd be easier to deal with. I wouldn't be sad then. I would just ignore you, and everything you do. So please, Weiss, give me a reason to hate you. Do something… anything. Hit me, hurt me worse than you already have. Break my heart more, on purpose. Just… do… something… please…"

Ruby started to whimper, slowly falling to her knees. She sagged down like she had suddenly lost all of her strength to stand. She met the floor with a pitiful sob, and all Weiss could do was stare.

What could she say? What could she do? She didn't know it was this bad, she didn't even know she had hurt Ruby like this. She didn't even know how to feel right now.

So she turned and ran away.

* * *

(Bonus Ficlet)

 _I know the pieces fit,  
_ ' _Cause I watched them fall away._

Tool - Schism

* * *

Ruby gave nothing save a pitiful sigh and it seemed to be tangible. It fogged up the room with a feeling that was closer to weariness than sadness.

She pulled the blankets over her more, her body covered in sweat, but she didn't pay any mind to its need to cool off.

She just laid there, staring out over the darkened room as the feeling of weakness seemed to encompass her completely. She closed her eyes just to let the silence wash over. No music, no Yang teasing Blake, no Weiss telling her to study, no ruckus coming from JNPR's dorm; no nothing.

It was depressing.

She looked down at the pile of trash beside her bed. Soda cans, bottles, and candy wrappers. _When did it get to be so big?_ she thought.

She rolled over, not wanting to stare at the trash, realizing it made her sick. She sniffled, a smell making itself known to her. _Has it really been so long since I've showered?_ She thought.

Her breath was faring no better, she realized, and she flinched as she really thought about all she had managed to get done lately. That is, almost absolutely nothing. Weiss had to be upset with her, Yang had to be disappointed. Blake was probably feeling sorry for her. She really didn't want to think about these things, but they forced their way into her head.

She flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

This moment was a repeat of the last few. How long had this been going on? A week? Two? Ruby bit her lip, her somewhat lifeless eyes flashing with worry for the slightest of seconds before she lost the strength to worry about it.

Why should it matter anyway? If she worried about it, then she would just feel worse, right? Make others worry for her? If she could pretend like everything was okay then everything would be. Maybe then people would stop asking her if she was alright.

 _But are you alright?_ she asked herself.

 _No._

 _Yes?_

 _Not sure._

 _Ask again later._

Ruby yawned, shifting again to face the wall. They were all just being silly, Ruby had never been better, after all. Never been happier. Never been more tired.

She wanted to sleep, but she couldn't, not anymore. She had slept for over a day. But maybe if she just closed her eyes and forced it?

Yes, that could work it.

 _Maybe tomorrow will be a better day._


End file.
